Nell (1994)

Academy-Award nominated Jodie Foster starred as the title character Nell Kellty in this engrossing Michael Apted-directed drama about a 30 year-old woman who was isolated her entire life in a remote cabin in North Carolina with her partially-paralyzed mother due to a stroke. This made her appear to be a 'feral' or 'wild child.'

Her unusual and almost incoherent speech was due to her conversations with a deceased twin sister until she was 6 years old, and listening to her mother's garbled words, and she was possibly conceived by a rapist.

Once the town's doctor Dr. Jerry Lovell (Liam Neeson) and therapist Paula Olsen (Natasha Richardson) came upon Nell, there was conflict over sending her to an institution or letting her remain in her familiar surroundings. As they studied her behavior over a three-month period, they realized that Nell was nocturnal, and that she had a twin sister who had died young.

In one scene, the untamed woman stripped down to go skinny-dipping/swimming in a moonlit lake (with the doctor joining her to reassure her), and in another, Nell lifted up her top in a poolroom-bar when a local raunchy redneck took advantage of her innocent naivete about civilization.

Priest (1994, UK)

This volatile, daring, provocative and controversial British drama from director Antonia Bird was accused of attacking the Roman Catholic Church's official views on homosexuality (or chaste celibacy of any kind by priests), and the sanctity of privacy in the confessional. The film was forced to be re-edited for its US R-rated theatrical release.

The film told about a conservative, gay Roman Catholic priest in Liverpool -- Father Greg Pilkington (Linus Roache) who broke his vows by engaging in homosexual sex with a man named Graham (Robert Carlyle), while also being tormented by a confessional from a young 14 year-old girl named Lisa Unsworth (Christine Tremarco) about incestual abuse from her father.

Rapa Nui (1994)

Director Kevin Reynolds' (and co-producer Kevin Costner) historically-questionable film about civil war on early Easter Island (known as Rapa Nui in Chile) in the remote SE Pacific. Throughout the melodrama set in the 1600s, there were many scantily-clad natives, including a mishandled and miscast Sandrine Holt.

The box-office bomb (with a $20 million budget, with only $305K gross earnings) told about a forbidden (and preposterous) 'Hollywoodish' star-crossed 'Romeo and Juliet' love story between two secret lovers who were from two opposing tribes:

• Ramana (Sandrine Holt), a plebian, slave class "Short Ear" native girl
• Noro (Jason Scott Lee), a member of the aristocratic, ruling class of "Long Ears"

The backdrop for the romantic melodrama was the perilous annual contest to retrieve a sooty tern's egg. The Birdman competition (taking a route along rocky cliffs and into shark-infested waters) was conducted between representatives of all the clans to determine who would reign as "Bird Man" for the next year.

The shaman reluctantly promised Noro the hand of Ramana if he won. However, Ramana was required to be sexually purified by being confined in a cave ("The Cave of the White Virgin") during a 6-moon preparation period until the competition was held - although she had already been de-virginized (and impregnated by Noro).

Another male, a "Short Ear" named Make (Esai Morales), Noro's childhood friend but now the leader of rebel unrest, also vied to win Ramana's love in the competition.

The film ended with Noro as the sole surviving winner of the competition - he escaped the island with Ramana and their recently-born baby. A post-credits scroll suggested that the couple could have made it to nearby Pitcairn Island.

Raw Justice (1994) (aka Good Cop, Bad Cop)

Baywatch's surgically-enhanced and buxom super-babe Pamela Anderson starred first in Raw Justice - writer/director David A. Prior's exploitative, low-budget, highly-cliched action-thriller and murder mystery with three chase sequences (motorcycles, cars, and fan boats), and similar to the cop-buddy film Midnight Run (1988). [Note: Her next film was Barb Wire (1996).] This film's only claim to fame was Anderson's add-on plot accessory role as sexy blonde prostitute Sarah.

The film's tagline was: "Kill... Or be killed."

Prostitute Sarah (Pamela Anderson)	Ex-Cop Bounty Hunter Mace (David Keith)
Mace with Sarah's Disguise	Sarah to Mace: "You've got my clothes!"

In the opening title credits sequence, tough ex-cop/bounty hunter Mace (David Keith) approached a hooker outside a low-budget motel to proposition her with cash for stand-up sex, but in the next scene, Mace was wearing her clothing as a cross-dressing disguise (a bright frilly orange top, black mini-dress, and high leather boots) - and a black wig, to confront a bail-jumper in one of the motel's rooms. He chased after the suspect, while Sarah - in panties and a bra - was screaming at Mace to return her clothes. Mace shot at the suspect's stolen car, sending it crashing into Dave's Market. The bail-jumper was pursued and beaten unconscious in an alleyway, but Mace was arrested by two officers for violence.

In the next scene, journalist Donna Stiles (April Bogenschutz), the daughter of the New Orleans Mayor, was driven back to her home after a "lousy" and very unsuccessful miniature-golf date with insecure loser Mitch McCullum (Robert Hays). She complained it was not very enjoyable: "Miniature golf is just not exactly my style." As they parted, he gave her his 'good luck' prize for scoring a hole-in-one - a miniature troll with purple hair.

While she was showering after entering her apartment, a darkly-dressed, black-gloved intruder snuck in and stole a computer disc on her desk, and then used a ripped-out electrical cord to strangle the nude and helpless Donna from behind as she reached for her towel.

Evil Deputy Mayor Bob Jenkins (Stacy Keach)	Donna's Hired Killer
Corrupt Police Lieutenant Atkins (Leo Rossi)	New Orleans Mayor David Stiles (Charles Napier), Donna's Father

Shortly after the murder, the hired hit-man met with the suspicious and corrupt Deputy Mayor Jenkins (Stacy Keath) of a waterfront pier, and was paid off with an envelope of money, in exchange for Donna's death and the computer disc. To cover his tracks, Jenkins put a bullet in the forehead of the killer - with his silencer gun, and insincerely thanked the dead man for doing business with him: "The pleasure's all mine." He retrieved the envelope of cash, and then rolled the body into the water below the pier.

As he was being released from jail, cocky bad-ass Mace had a few insulting words for his rival ex-boss - crooked police Lieutenant Atkins (Leo Rossi), after being introduced to Atkins' new raw recruit Detective Gordo Garcia (Javi Mulero): ("Is that a pencil in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?").

Mitch McCullum was arrested in an early morning raid by officers accompanied by Donna's upset father, David Stiles (Charles Napier). Mitch was viewed as the prime first-degree murder suspect for Donna's homicidal strangulation, since he had accompanied her on a date earlier on the night of her death. The Mayor adamantly refused an autopsy for his brutally-slain daughter (even though it was mandatory). The hard-drinking Mace was upset to hear the news of Donna's death on the local TV news - he was Donna's former fiancee.

The Mayor arrived to privately hire angry ex-cop Mace, undercover, to investigate the murder, and to pursue Mitch who had been released on bail ("by some bleeding heart judge"). The Mayor entreated: "You're still a loose cannon, and that's exactly what I need, somebody that works outside the law." At first, Mace refused: "It's not my problem," but then changed his mind. Any contact between Mace with the Mayor would be required to go through his Deputy Mayor - ultimately a serious problem since the Deputy Mayor had set up the murder.

Mace happened to witness the destructive bombing of Mitch's home, just after Mitch had discovered a confessional note in his refrigerator in his own forged handwriting (implying that he was guilty of murder and was committing suicide). Mitch also noticed that all the gas burners on his kitchen stove had been turned on. After Mitch raced outdoors and escaped death, he saw Mace and assumed that Mace was trying to kill him. There was a pursuit chase between them on motorcycles throught the city and a mall, until Mace was blocked by Lieut. Atkins' car. For being interfered with, he angrily punched Atkins in the face and broke his nose.

Soon after, the two-faced Deputy Mayor was seen accessing Donna's stolen computer disc, which includes notes for her book: "Living With Cops." He was also seen to be in cahoots with crooked Police Lieutenant Atkins ("The Bad Cop" - while Mace became the "Good Cop").

Ultimately, Mace and Mitch teamed up - as mismatched buddies - and went on the run when they realized they were both were looking for the same killer, and that they were being unjustly framed and set up by the real murderer and one of his accomplices. In The Howlin' Wolf bar, Mace learned from the bartender that bail bondsman Bernie (Bernard Hocke) was involved in providing Mitch's bail. Outside the bar, Sarah saw Mace and demanded her clothes back, when the three of them were caught in gunfire from two armed men. After one gunman was killed, to escape, Sarah drove off with Mace's car as he was clinging to the front hood. They were able to successfully terminate the second killer, who was shot dead and crashed his car. However, they both realized that Sarah, who had been seen with them, was now a target: "And now they're gonna be after me, too." They didn't have any idea who wanted them killed out on the street.

During the next sequence (star Pamela Anderson's much-excerpted topless scene, the first of two simulated sex scenes), in an alleyway after the car pursuit scene, she spontaneously made love with Mace, who removed Sarah's top and shorts and kissed/massaged her all over; they simultaneously made love two ways - rear-entry while standing up.

Afterwards, Mace entered bailbondsman Bernie's ACTION Bail Bonds office, wielding a metal baseball bat to threaten him, in order to find out who confidentially posted 10% of Mitch's $1 million dollar bond ("Who put up the money?"). Under pressure, Bernie handed over the file, claiming that "John Smith" signed the paperwork. A few moments later, Lieutenant Atkins (who had been trailing Mace) used Mace's baseball bat weapon (earlier used to destroy Bernie's office) to beat Bernie to death - to frame Mace by using the same weapon.

Now that the innocent Mitch and Mace had both been framed, with Sarah as their accomplice-witness, the threesome needed to band together. Mace explained his previous involvement and why he broke up with the Mayor's daughter. When Mayor Stiles was Chief of Police and running for Mayor, he had a few dirty secrets ("skeletons in his closet"), so Mace (who was working for Stiles as a cop) took the blame - and subsequently lost his job and the love of his girlfriend Donna.

While hiding out in two motel rooms, with Sarah in one room and the two guys sharing a room, Mitch came to Mace's rescue when he saved him from an assault by a group of four thugs in the motel's parking lot, and disarmed one gunman with a "Bruce Lee" styled karate kick. Afterwards, Sarah rewarded Mitch with sex in the hotel room - causing a bit of a riff between Mace and Sarah.

As instructed by the Mayor, Mace contacted the Deputy Mayor by phone - who immediately relayed Mace's location at the motel to his crooked partner, Lieutenant Atkins. Atkins' men (and the Lieutenant himself) soon after captured Mitch, Sarah and Mace at the motel - alerting Mace to the fact that the Deputy Mayor was corrupt.

In the Mayor's office, the Deputy Mayor blackmailed the Mayor into agreeing to refuse to run for the governorship of Louisiana in the spring, so that Jenkins could run at the top of the ticket rather than wasting his career "playing second fiddle." He pressured the Mayor to announce at the next day's press conference that he was going to resign as Mayor, due to his daughter's death, and open the spot for Jenkins.

As blackmail - with a gun pointed at the Mayor - the Deputy Mayor asserted that if the Mayor didn't agree, he was planning to reveal in Donna's upcoming book (on her stolen computer disc), that he had written and inserted an additional chapter titled "INCEST," with accusations of incest between Donna and her father (the Mayor's 'dirty secrets'?). The Mayor suddenly realized that Deputy Mayor Jenkins was the person behind Donna's murder, and had framed Mitch for her murder.

The Deputy Mayor's Blackmailing Scheme with the Mayor

The three fugitives (Mitch, Mace, and Sarah) were driven to the Louisiana bayous, where Atkins planned to make it look like Mace killed Mitch and Sarah with his gun, forcing Atkins to kill Mace. When Atkins' new young Deputy Garcia objected to the plan, allowing the threesome to flee for their lives, the despicable Atkins lethally shot Garcia in the chest.

The film concluded with a brief chase and gun pursuit in fan boats after Mace, Mitch and Sarah, when one of Atkins' men was chomped in the water by an alligator. Back in the city at The Howlin' Wolf bar, another confrontation between them led to a fistfight brawl, where "scumbag" Lieut. Atkins' (with another battered nose) confessed to Mace that he was working for Deputy Mayor Jenkins. After a shootout, Atkins was lethally impaled by a giant dart projectile thrown into his chest by Mace.

At the next day's news press conference planned by the Deputy Mayor, his plans went awry when the Mayor delivered a different speech than expected, and publically accused Jenkins of murder: "This man is responsible for my daughter's murder." Mace entered the back of the room to confirm the Mayor's words: "Atkins talked. You're finished, Jenkins." With his gun drawn and the Mayor as his hostage, the Deputy Mayor attempted to flee from the city by ordering a helicopter to whisk him away from the rooftop. Ten minutes later, Mace (disguised as the chopper pilot) picked up Jenkins, but then directed the chopper into a building, causing an explosive crash and Jenkins' death, as he safely jumped into the river. In the end, Mitch and Sarah said goodbye to Mace and drove off to a new future together in California.

Ready to Wear (1994) (aka Pret-a-Porter)

Robert Altman's two-hour ensemble black comedy satirized the fashion industry through a look at the fashion world of Paris, and combined it with a murder mystery. It told about the lives (and loves) of an assorted group of fashion designers, supermodels, and journalists.

The "seductive comedy" featured dozens of characters, converging storylines (typical of Altman) and cameo appearances (Lauren Bacall, Harry Belafonte, Teri Garr, Forest Whitaker, Naomi Campbell, Lyle Lovett, Christy Turlington, Cher and others). It contained Altman's characteristic interweaving plot lines of the lives of models, designers (Richard E. Grant), fashion magazine editors (Sally Kellerman, Tracey Ullman, and Linda Hunt), Irish photographer (Stephen Rea), TV reporter (Kim Basinger), and journalists (Tim Robbins, Julia Roberts and Lili Taylor).

The widely-despised head of the fashion council was Olivier de la Fontaine (Jean-Pierre Cassel) who was married to Isabella de la Fontaine (Sophia Loren) - later he was found dead in his limousine (ruled a homicide although he choked on a ham sandwich) and his cohort Sergei/Sergio (Marcello Mastroianni) was considered a suspect.

[Note: Loren and Mastroianni recreated their striptease scene from Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow (1964).]

Fashion Show Finale
	Eve Salvail (Herself), shaved bald
Dane Simpson (Georgianna Robertson), African-American (left)	Albertine (German singer Ute Lemper), pregnant	Kiki Simpson (Tara Leone) (right)

Its most memorable scene was its eye-popping, two-minute runway show finale during Paris' week-long, annual "Pret-a-Porter" fashion extravaganza. The sequence featured over one dozen slim models, displayed by both real-life models and actresses.

It was a sensational, all-nude fashion show put on by beleaguered French designer Simone Lowenthal (Anouk Aimee), the mistress of Olivier. In retaliation against her no-good, rebellious slimy son Jack Lowenthal (Rupert Everett), who engineered a corporate takeover and sold her name to Texan cowboy boot manufacturer Clint Lammeraux (Lyle Lovett), she hosted an all-nude fashion show. When the crowning moment occurred - a pregnant model parading down the runway during the show, the crowd burst into applause, as superficial, flabbergasted American FAD-TV fashion reporter Kitty Potter (Kim Basinger) took a microphone and described how "everything" was exhibited in Simone Lo's show:

"I mean, I don't know how much of this is gonna be on TV or anything. But, it's-- it's-- it's so new. I mean, it's, uh, it's so old. I mean, it's, uh -- I mean, she shows it like it really is. [cheering, whistling] It's, uh, it's so old, it's true. It's so true, it's new. It's the oldest new look. It's the newest old look. It's -- It's -- Simone Lo has created a, a new, new look for every man, woman and child. And they can all afford it. It's called the 'bare look.' So, hooray for Simone Lo. What the hell am I talkin' about? I mean, wh-wh-- For Christ's sake, wh-wh-what is goin' on here, really? Can you tell me what's goin' on on this planet? Th-this is f--kin' fruitcake time. I mean, is that fashion? Is it? I mean, is there a message out there? I mean, you got a lot of naked people wanderin' around here. I mean, I been forever trying to find out what this bulls--t is all about, and you know what? You know what? I have had it. I have had it. Goodbye. Au revoir."

The Road to Wellville (1994)

Writer/director Alan Parker's adaptation of T. Coraghessan Boyle's 1993 novel of the same name told about the early 20th Century Reform movement for health self-improvement. The film was filled with scatalogical references and lots of nudity. Its tagline was:

"What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger!"

The outrageous, satirical sex comedy chronicled the fanatical treatments at buck-toothed inventor/developer/health guru Dr. John Harvey Kellogg's (Anthony Hopkins) fictional Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan. There, affluent guests were rejuvenated by being subjected to daily colon cleansings, purgings, and yogurt enemas, the eating of roughage (and denial of meat), electric shock baths, flagellation and other shock therapies and battery-powered treatments applied to the genitals, womb manipulation massages, and sex abstinence. Kellogg argued: "Masturbation is the silent killer of the night! The vilest sin of self-pollution! The sin of Onan!"

It featured many big-name stars, including the couple:

• William Lightbody (Matthew Broderick)
• Eleanor Lightbody (Bridget Fonda), William's wife

Eleanor confided with her orgasm-obsessed, ample-bodied friend Virginia Cranehill (Camryn Manheim) - another patient. She was worried about her husband's possible addiction to opium, his alcoholism, and also she was concerned about his sex drive: "He always wanted (sex). It was (don't tell me - grunt, grunt, thank you very much, good night, spit, snore)....It wasn't that I didn't want him... (Marriage is legalized prostitution, my dear)... I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name." Eleanor wanted to have sex with her husband but admitted: "I want so much to love him. I've just forgotten how." She eagerly explored the 'Der Handebunge technique' - a vaginal stimulation practiced by one of the lecherous womb doctors, Dr Spitzvogel (Norbert Weisser), administering a therapeutic massage of the womb.

She also asked Virginia when they were in a massage session: "Tell me Virginia, honestly. Do you think that sex is harmful?" Virginia sighed: "Another ridiculous idea dreamed up by men. The only thing harmful about sex, my dear, is when women don't get enough of it when they want it, or don't get to enjoy it when they do." She introduced Eleanor to a love of bicycle riding for the "pleasures" it gave on long rides - what she termed a 'bicycle smile.'

Eleanor Lightbody (Bridget Fonda)

Due to William's forced separation from his wife Eleanor (who sponged herself while engaged in frequent milk baths), he found himself libidinously attracted to two other females:

• Irene Graves (Traci Lind), his sexy and pretty nurse who administered his enemas (and who he imagined undressed, when they shared an elevator together)
• Ida Muntz (Lara Flynn Boyle), sickly, emaciated, and consumptive, and across the hallway, who was suffering from a mysterious 'green sickness.' William had sex with her under an elaborate electric blanket, to the rhythmic breathing of exercises being conducted nearby: "In, out, in, out."

Later, William also came upon Ida sitting topless under a veil in her room. She removed the veil to reveal her sickly green face, and he turned away as she asked: "It's my face, isn't it?...You're staring at my face...What color is it?" To be polite, he answered her twice: "Veridian...creme de menthe."

She admitted it was green, although he said it was more "pale" than green. She then claimed that she was cold, denied his suggestion of a blanket, and asked Will: "Will you please lay on top of me?" When he came closer, she requested: "Would you please close the flap?" - he obliged by covering her head with the veil. Then she whispered an order: "Now do it."

Spanking the Monkey (1994)

David O. Russell's debut directorial film was this black comedy - the film's title was another term for "masturbation." The independent feature film told about a self-abusing, introverted college freshman named Ray Aibelli (Jeremy Davies). He was continually interrupted touching himself in the bathroom by the whining family dog, and he experienced a rocky relationship with his neighborhood girlfriend Toni Peck (Carla Galio) due to his graceless and rough manner.

Ray was forced by his philandering, acerbic and domineering father Tom (Benjamin Hendrickson) to care during a hot summer for his recuperating, emotionally-dependent, and bed-ridden depressed mother Susan (Alberta Watson) who suffered from a broken leg.

During their close time together (helping her shower, etc.), they developed an off-limits, mother-son relationship. The most controversial scene was one late at night in which he rubbed massage lotion into her upper thigh and they commenced love-making.

Because of his spiraling depression and guilt over the forbidden love with his mother, he suicidally jumped off a cliff.

The Specialist (1994)

Two supposedly sexy box-office superstars were featured in this body-conscious, 'guilty pleasure' thriller-tale of murder and revenge against the underworld set against the neon backdrop of Miami. It won two Razzie awards (Worst Actress - Sharon Stone, Worst Screen Couple - Stone and Stallone) from its five Razzie nominations, including Worst Actor, Worst Supporting Actor (Rod Steiger) and Worst Picture.

The two ultra-buffed stars were:

• May Munro/Adrian Hastings (Sharon Stone), a femme fatale
• Ray Quick (Sylvester Stallone), a former CIA explosives expert and free-lance hit man

May hired Ray to avenge the murder of her parents.

They appeared in a number of sex scenes, including a lengthy, exhibitionist shower scene that featured their taut and toned bodies - his biceps and pectorals and her breasts. The scene began in a Fontainebleu Hotel bedroom where they kissed - he let her hair down, and told the alluring female that she had a "beautiful face." To the tune of bluesy jazz music, they undressed and caressed each other and made love on the bed - the scene then segued into the shower where they kissed under the steamy showerhead. They sank to the shower floor where they stretched out and made love.

The Shower Scene Between May/Adrian (Sharon Stone) and Ray (Sylvester Stallone)

Their dialogue was unintentionally funny and unsexy, as, for instance, this double-entendre line as she soaped up his chest from behind and then came around to his front to kiss him. She noted that she had faked her own death, so that she could witness the demise of ruthless criminal Tomas Leon (Eric Roberts). She also sexily stated that 'specialist' Ray only built bombs focused on their target:

"I had to be there when he died. I needed to see it. Anyway, I knew you'd pick the safest way for everybody. I studied your style. I knew you always focused your detonations. So I knew that if I was facing Tomas, right in front of him, like this. A little bit closer, like this, I know I feel safe."

Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000 (1994) (aka Virgin Hunters)

This teen sexploitation film with sci-fi and comedy elements, directed by David DeCoteau (as alias Ellen Cabot) opened with a James Bond-like title sequence, with the silhouette of a nude female behind the credits. It was Torchlight Entertainment’s second feature film after Beach Babes From Beyond (1993). [Note: Torchlight was a subdivision of Full Moon Productions, noted for softcore erotica.] Its taglines were:

• Science was never this hard...
• They came. They saw. They scored.

There were two sequels: Virgin Hunters 2 (2016) and Virgin Hunters 3: Agents of Passion (2017).

History Professor Dorn (Ian Abercrombie) Lecturing in Classroom

(l to r) Three Classmates: Vin, Naldo, and Reena

Dorn Exhibiting a Peace Sign On His Chest: "I'm a rebel"

The film began in a classroom taught by history teacher Professor Dorn (Ian Abercrombie), where three of the main teenaged characters were introduced:

• Vin (Christopher Wolf)
• Reena (Sara Suzanne Brown), pretty blonde
• Naldo (Brian Bremer), Vin's geeky friend

In front of the class, Prof. Dorn briefly spoke about the takeover of the government in the year 2019 by corporate mega-conglomerates (or "Big Brother"). He stated: "History proves that all other forms of government to be ineffective. A planet has to be run like a business. The corporate way is the only way."

A sexy fantasy sequence commenced after Vin took one view of Reena's backside in front of him, and began daydreaming. He imagined that his blonde female classmate was about to perform a private striptease for him. When asked a question by Naldo, Dorn refused to discuss other forms of government, since he claimed it would be a waste of time because they were obsolete.

After stripping off her bra and gliding next to him on the table in front of him, she whispered: "Do you like what you see?...How much?...Show me," and she guided his hand to her left breast. She joked: "I don't suppose you could repeat any of today's lesson back to the class." Vin was jolted back to the class and advised to pay attention by the teacher, who reminded Vin that his corporate sponsors wouldn't be happy with his thoughts about sex and lust. "All carnal thoughts" were now considered a crime in the corporate society.

After class, Vin, Naldo, and Reena were ordered to remain behind. They watched as Prof. Dorn removed a gun from a briefcase and shot the classroom TV monitor, and then for the three specially-chosen teens ("test tube twerps"), he explained how all the things that they had been taught since they were born (as test tube babies) were propagandistic lies ("the corporation made me teach it"). He displayed a tattoo of a peace symbol on his chest to reveal his membership in a Resistance rebellion ("I'm a rebel...out to destroy the world, just as Big Brother warned you").

He explained to them how the country was a democracy 25 years earlier, when a mega-conglomerate paid off the exorbitant national debt and then "foreclosed" on the US government. They proceeded with hostile take-overs of other countries throughout the world - and then banned sex. An "uptight bitch" named Camella Swales (Morgan Fairchild), the ruthless leader of Supercorp, was the instigator of the movement, who convinced the board that there wasn't any profit in human sexuality. It was ordered that the only legal form of reproduction was via test tubes - the three teens were produced in the first batch of artificially-created human beings 19 years earlier. Since then, sexual intercourse, lustful thoughts and other carnal activities had been outlawed.

Before the Professor was detained and led away by pistol-packing, black-garbed, faceless and masked guards, he encouraged the teens to be part of a growing underground Resistance alliance. He presented them with a pass-card to the archives under the building, holding centuries of "knowledge" stored there. He told the teens: "The future is in your hands." The teens were encouraged to "return the planet to its original state, and free mankind from corporate slavery" - by undoing the sex ban and changing history. They didn't realize that they would be altering the present time by time traveling back to 25 years earlier.

With card access, the two males perused the historical basement archives where they discovered a box of adult-skin magazines. They were amazed by one magazine titled Playpen - with a pretty centerfold model as Miss August (born in 1975, majoring in nuclear physics and home economics, and her likes - walks on the beach, candlelight dinners). It was proof that decades earlier, sex was rampant and commercialized, while the present day had been utterly transformed.

Suddenly, Vin experienced his second lustful fantasy of love-making, when the centerfold model Samantha (Tamara Tohill) came to life and needed rescue. He made hip-thrusting love to her in a purplish smoky cave setting, until brought back to reality. Conveniently, the teens also discovered a time chamber - and with Reena staying behind to control their journey, the two males used it to transport themselves back in time to the specific date of 10-17-94, to the school where Prof. Dorn previously taught, The Swales School for Girls. To hide from guards who entered the room, Reena hid in the chamber and also programmed transport for herself three days later (on 10-20-94).

Ancient Playpen Magazine with August Centerfold Samantha Discovered in the Historical Archives

A Second Vin Fantasy with Samantha Cummings (Tamara Tohill)

Time Chamber Machine for Time Travel

Vin and Naldo ended up in the dorm room of bespectacled student Maggie (Michelle Matheson), who was initially shocked by their presence. Naldo explained how they were from the future year 2019, with a mission to "alter certain events in your time to prevent a corporate takeover of the planet, and the banning of sex between consenting adults." They warned what would happen in three years time, and then surprised her with the statement: "We haven't even been born yet." She was amazed to hear that sex was forbidden in the future, and the school's headmistress was responsible for its banning. Maggie called the principal "a tight-ass prude with delusions of grandeur."

After a night's sleep on the floor in her room, it was now a day later, 10-18-94. They accidentally activated the TV remote in the room, and to their surprise, came across an X-rated film clip on the tube. In homage to Some Like It Hot (1959), Maggie brought them wigs and school uniforms and they cross-dressed as females in the all-girls boarding school. Vin wore a black wig, while Naldo sported a blonde beehive wig, and they attended class with Maggie - taught by a younger Professor Dorn.

They were confronted by the strict, ruthless and dominating headmistress/principal - a younger Camella Swales. With a forged letter, Maggie vouched for them as Swedish exchange students, Heidi and Ingrid.

Time-Travelers Vin and Naldo Cross-Dressing as Swedish Exchange Students in an All-Girls Boarding School, With Help from Maggie (Michelle Matheson)

Their objective was to change Swales to avoid their ultimate future - while avoiding a deadly cyborg (Don Dowe) known as LEX 500 (making an entrance similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator) sent back from the future to eliminate them because, as he put it, they were "very naughty." After meeting briefly with the Headmistress, LEX 500 also repeated the popular phrase with an accent, "I'll be back."

After an aerobics class, the two guys walked into a shower room and encountered a beautiful brunette in the shower. They stepped aside as a second student entered, redhead Annie (Laurel Wiley), lowered her towel. Annie joined a third student, a blonde named Victoria (Robin Joi Brown). The camera slowly panned to the left for another glimpse of the brunette, before the scene transitioned to another shower fantasy - two Shower Girls #1 and #2 (Maria Elisa and Julie R. Sell) stripped off their clothes - in slow-motion in a purplish shower room, and assisted each other in soaping up and rinsing off.

Views in the Girls' Shower Room
Vin and Naldo	Brunette	Redhead Annie (Laurel Wiley) Entering Shower
(l to r): Victoria (Robin Joi Brown) and Annie	Camera Pan to the Left to Again Glimpse Brunette

While hiding from the headmistress who found evidence of beer drinking in the room, after Vin had been partying with two night-gowned girls, he fled to an outdoor balcony, and then entered through another girl's room. It was coed Samantha's candle-lit room where she was lying on her bed in a skimpy red nightgown - it was a true-to-life wish-fulfillment of Vin's earlier second fantasy when he made love to the future centerfold model. She thought he looked familiar: "Have I met you somewhere before?" after he told how he knew how she was born in 1975 and majored in nuclear physics and home economics. He shared how they both liked candlelight dinners and walks on the beach. When he admitted he wanted to kiss her, and then shockingly revealed he was a guy by pulling off his wig, she said it made "all the difference in the world." He found time during his mission to again make love with the coed - for real - in a soft-core sex scene; afterwards, he complimented her: "That was the single greatest experience in my life. Now I hope I just live long enough to have another one like it."

Vin with Coed Samantha (Tamara Tohill)

Meanwhile, while he was snooping through the Headmistress' desk for "research" purposes, Naldo found a collection of Camella's saved handwritten love letters from her ex-married boyfriend Darryl. One of them revealed how she had been abruptly dumped and shunned by Darryl who regretfully called off their affair: ("It is with great regret that I write that I can never see you again...Please don't hate me, Love Darryl"). It was obvious that she had been "burned" and had taken revenge on everyone.

Naldo suggested to Vin and Maggie that in order to cure her, they only had to find the "right person" for her, to "change her entire outlook." She was like a "lost soul" who was hiding her humanity - and pain. They shared their findings with teacher Mr. Dorn, and convinced him to reluctantly romance the Headmistress, to change her outlook on life. Dorn entered Camella's office and flattered her: "I can resist your spell no longer....A force so strong you cannot deny it...This is my way of saying, 'I love you'." She thought he was inappropriate and suggested a leave of absence, and then delivered a blow to his face and blackened an eye. Dorn was fired and lost his pension. Further efforts to electrocute her, poison her, or shoot her with a bow and arrow failed.

Suddenly, Reena was transported to the school through the time travel machine (to six years before she was even born), to help her classmates (and Maggie) to combat the Headmistress and LEX 500. Naldo was worried when Reena divulged that she didn't have enough time to reset the machine so that they could return to the present year of 2019. Naldo was determined to remain and change Camella, or their future world would be doomed - in less than 3 years ("This world is going to become our world in less than 3 years"). Naldo kissed Maggie to thank her for all of her assistance - and began falling in love with her.

Although under "house arrest," Maggie (without her glasses) and wearing a fashionable dress, snuck out of the dorm and at 9 pm, she met the three teens from the future at the 4th Dimension, a sexy downtown bar and dance nightclub. Vin ran into Samantha and awkwardly introduced her to a jealous Reena. LEX 500 entered the club and targeted Naldo with his gun, but Vin was able to richochet the bullet with a drink tray to boomerang the bullet back into the cyborg's abdomen and deactivate him. Naldo reprogrammed the cyborg to fall in love with Miss Swales (Vin: "Neither one of them are human"), by reassimilating her love letters from Darryl into his memory banks. The group also showed him nude model pictures from a Playpen Magazine with Camella's head pasted onto naked bodies - to get him sexually excited.

LEX 500 entered Camella's office to tell her that his original mission had been reprogrammed: "I have come for you, Camella Swales." He knelt down in front of her, took her hand, and professed his love. With eloquent words of love, Camella became hot and bothered, and wasn't persuaded until LEX unzipped his pants to show off how he was a "perfect specimen" - she was very impressed and allowed herself to be picked up into his strong arms: ("Oh baby, show me, Oh honey, show me what I have been missing") and she kicked off one shoe - the teens' plan had succeeded.

Camella joined LEX on the back of his motorcycle, and vowed to give up pursuing any future "political career" - before zooming off: ("Politics, hell no! Honey, we are out of here! First stop, Las Vegas"). She happily purred that the cyborg had promised that his battery would last for another 75 years ("Oh, God, that ought to be long enough"). Professor Naldo summarized: "There never was a corporate takeover of the government, so the world went on as it was. A little messed up, but then, nobody's perfect." Reena married Vin, who pursued a career as a sex therapist. Prof. Dorn became a best-selling author and moved to Waikiki. Actress Samantha Cummings won the Peace Prize in nuclear physics. And Naldo admitted to Maggie that he was "history" - he was non-existent because he had caused test tube babies to be outlawed.

Threesome (1994)

Writer-director Andrew Fleming's debut feature was an R-rated fairly crude, blatantly-stereotypical romantic sex comedy about a coed triangle. The teasing and prudish post-modern coming-of-age film took the unlikely premise that there was a mix-up in Freemont University (UCLA?) dorm assignments. The mistake placed three unlikely individuals together in a dorm suite:

• Alex (Lara Flynn Boyle) (with a gender-ambiguous name), the female
• Eddy Howe (Josh Charles), a studious, sensitive, intellectual junior transfer student
• Stuart (Stephen Baldwin), a boorish, Neanderthal-like, sex-crazed jock

In an early scene in their cramped quarters, obviously heterosexual Stuart was given time to "socialize with friends" -- he was seen removing the purple bra from friendly dorm laundry girl (Katherine Kousi) and kissing her breast.

Their "delicate equilibrium" was quickly upset when Eddy found Alex showering in the suite's bathroom - and she announced herself as their new roommate. The plot dabbled with whether Alex's reluctant, stand-offish and "sexually-ambivalent" love interest Eddy might be gay ("I like them (girls), I just don't want to have sex with them"), while Stuart was ardently pursuing her (the film's basic plot was summed up early on by Alex: "You have the hots for me, I have the hots for him, and sooner or later he's gonna have the hots for you").

Although they made a "sacred vow" together to remain only friends, that line was soon crossed. Dialogue was exemplified by lines such as this, mostly from Stuart:

"For me, sex, it's like pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still pretty good."
"If you don't have sex soon, your dick is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vagina."

The film displayed Alex having an orgasm fully dressed as she seductively squirmed around on a library table in front of Eddy, and oral sex was delivered by Stuart to Alex under a blanket while she spoke on the phone to Eddy.

During a skinny-dip scene, the three were naked and kissing until interrupted by a group of young hikers led by a priest who saw them and then began laughing. Afterwards, Eddy (in voice-over) described the significance of their kissing:

"Alex said that the priest symbolized God, the children - lost innocence, and the three of us - a post-modern Eve with two Adams banished from the sacred garden to wander in the wilderness for eternity because we had sinned. We had acknowledged our own nakedness and partaken of the forbidden fruit. Though it amounted to only a kiss, a touch, it changed everything. Pandora's proverbial box had been opened, but more interestingly, I'm not sure any of us wanted to close it again."

The film eventually included a soft-core three-some sex-sandwich bedroom scene in which Alex was naked between the two men, with Alex interested in Eddy, while he was interested in Stuart, and Stuart was interested in Alex. At the end, Eddy's musings in voice-over, accompanied by a few flashback images, summed up:

"My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblence to the pictures in the brochure. But I'm not unhappy. I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It's kind of like when you go on vacation. You plan everything out but then one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour and you end up in some crazy place you can't even find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening, but later you realize it was the best part of the whole trip."

True Lies (1994)

James Cameron's expensive, cross-genre film was an action-comedy, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger starred as computer salesman Harry Tasker. He was actually a US secret double agent, married to bored, demure traditionalist wife Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis). They had a daughter named Dana (Eliza Dushku). Because of his job requiring extensive travel, Helen began to suspect that Harry was having an affair, while at the same time, Harry was worried that Helen was involved with a used car salesman named "Simon" (Bill Paxton), posing as a spy to seduce her.

Using the resources of his counter-terrorism and intelligence task force, Harry interrogated her behind a one-way mirror - as a punishment and as a test - of her fidelity and her extra-marital relationship with "Simon." She confessed that she had second thoughts about her marriage and had considered leaving Harry ("a boring jerk") for Simon:

"I wanted to do something outrageous, and it felt really good, to be needed, and to be trusted. It's just there's so much I want to do with this life, and it fells that I haven't done any of it. You know, the sand is running out of the hourglass, so I want to look back and say, see, I did that, that was me, I was wreckless and I was wild, and I f--king did it."

He presented Helen with a choice - to go to prison or to be sent on a "mission" to seduce a double-agent while posing as a prostitute named Michelle. She chose the latter. In the film's sexiest scene, she was sent to the Hotel Marquis, where she was ordered to perform an arousing and provocative strip-tease for a mysterious, suspected arms dealer (a disguised Harry appearing as a darkened figure), while secretly planting a bug on his phone.

She used one of the bed-posts as a stripper pole, undressing down to sexy black lingerie and black high heels as Harry watched from dark shadows - amazed at her convincing bump 'n' grind. When she finished, he instructed her (with a tape-recorded message): "Now lie on the bed and close your eyes." She replied: "But I thought you only liked to watch."

He teased her with a red rose, tickling her with it from her nose to between her breasts, before attempting to kiss her. She destroyed the mood by bashing him with the phone, and kicking him in the stomach while he groveled on the floor, shouting out: "You pig! Bastard!"

Uncovered (1994, Sp./UK)

Based on the book "The Flanders Panel," this neglected murder mystery was filmed on location in Barcelona by directors Jack Baran and Jim McBride.

Its tagline was: "To Some - Murder Is an Art."

The film starred Kate Beckinsale (in an early, boyish short-haired role - with hairy armpits - before starring in Pearl Harbor (2001), Van Helsing (2004) and The Aviator (2004)). She portrayed the character of Julia Darro, a young and talented art restorer in Barcelona, Spain. Aging and prissy British homosexual Cesar (John Wood), who called her "Princess," became her jealous guardian after her parents had died when she was young.

She thought she had discovered clues to a centuries-old murder and then became surrounded by a modern-day succession of deaths/murders:

• Alvaro (Art Malik), Julia's ex-lover
• Don Manual (Michael Gough), the terminally-ill owner of the painting
• Menchu (Sinead Cusack), Julia's female boss

There were parallel clues that she had 'uncovered' in an inscription of a 15th century Flemish master painting of a chess game (titled La partida de ajedrez (The Chess Game)) between two men - it read "Who killed the knight (or white horse)?" (Latin: "Quis Necavit Equitem?") The hidden ancient inscription suggested a politically-motivated, wrongful, unsolved murder of the knight in the picture, committed by one of the subjects in the painting.

The discovery or 'uncovering' scene occurred as she drank a glass of wine, approached the ancient 500 year-old painting and studied it - in a topless reflection. In the end, with help from chess expert Domenec (Paudge Behan), it was revealed that Cesar was the murderous culprit. Julia was forced to shoot Cesar to death (in the heart) in self-defense in the climactic conclusion.

[Cesar was the estranged brother of the owner of the painting, expelled from the family when he was a teenager.]

Julia Darro (Kate Beckinsale) Uncovered as She 'Discovered The Identity of the Murderer

Woman of Desire (1994)

This film-noir wanna-be, capitalizing on the success of Basic Instinct (1992), was directed by Robert Ginty (not Bo Derek's husband John this time - a rare occurrence). One attempt at cleverness was to have some of the character's last names matching famous directors: David Lynch, John Ford, Walter Hill, etc. But the plot had lots of loopholes and was unnecessarily confused and twisting.

Its taglines were:

"Sex isn't always enough."
AND
"Two men. One beautiful woman. Alone at sea."

Star Bo Derek was identified as the "woman of desire" - who lived by the motto: "A long time ago I decided that the key to life was pleasing men."

The plot was about yacht captain Jack Lynch (Jeff Fahey), who was accused of two crimes:

• the murder of his boss Ted Ashby (Steven Bauer) - who was allegedly shot, fell overboard from his yacht and drowned (there was no body or murder weapon, however)
• the rape and beating of the victim's 'mistress' Christina Ford (Bo Derek) also on the yacht, with whom Jack was having an affair

According to Christina, Jack was captaining Ted's yacht when the two fought, Jack shot Ted and tossed him overboard, and his body was still missing. Jack raped Christina, and a storm tossed both Jack and Christina overboard. She was at the hospital while Jack was found washed up nude on a beach.

Jack sought out veteran attorney Walter J. Hill (Robert Mitchum) to help defend him and prove his innocence. Hill thought the testimony was contradictory and would vindicate Jack:

"Even her statement said that he was killed the night before you were found....That would indicate that someone else was involved. Say Ashby died when she was with you. Why wouldn't she come forward with the truth? Cheating on your boyfriend is not exactly a capital offense, you know...Why is she lying?...Why is she trying so hard to nail you?"

Things became very complicated when Christina began love-making with Ted's identical twin brother Jonathan Ashby (also Steven Bauer). She also appeared in sex and nude scenes with Jack atop a chrome-decorated motorcycle ("It's a custom Renegade love machine"), and in the shower.

Ultimately, Christina was revealed to be in cahoots with "Ted" -- now masquerading as his surviving brother Jonathan, although she was double-crossing him by still having sex with Jack. She explained to "Ted" that she had killed his brother, not Jack: ("Jack wouldn't go through with it. He was all entangled in the lines. All I had to do was push. I've been trying to forget about it ever since"). Hill explained his own conclusions to Jack - asserting that Christina was still lying to him:

Ted Ashby was not the man who fell off that boat. He's the one who set it up. They did it together. It looks like you and Jonathan both lost out.

Then in another twist, "Ted" was shot and killed at a carnival, in full view of all the major protagonists.

In a concluding voice-over, the conniving Christina explained to her psychiatrist Dr. Laskus (Robert Whitehead) in a clinic that she had inherited the yacht due to the court's resolution of the matter - and her doctor was revealed to be her new husband!:

"The only logical explanation is that Ted and Jack came up with a scheme to fool the insurance company and it went terribly wrong. I knew Ted was having money problems. He and Jonathan argued about finances all the time. And Jonathan was pressuring Ted to sell (the yacht) to Christina.....And to be perfectly honest, it was very reassuring to know that the court decided that Ted and Jonathan would have wanted me to have it...."