Dumb & Dumber (1994)

In Peter Farrelly's gross-out, un-PC, cross-country road-trip and buddy-comedy film about two 'dumb' and clueless adventuring friends in Providence, RI - roommates Lloyd and Harry:

• after the deliberately mis-spelled opening title credits, the story briefly introduced the two title characters: chip-toothed and grinning Providence, RI limo driver Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) with a bowl-style haircut, and Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels), an entrepreneur running a mobile dog-grooming business ("Mutts Cutts") - he had customized and converted his 1984 Ford Econoline van into a "Poochmobile" (shaped like a sheepdog); he was 40 minutes late in delivering a group of dogs to an important dog show, angering their owner Mrs. Neugeboren (Lin Shaye) when she saw how dirty they were

Limo-Driver Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey)

Dog Groomer Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels)

Harry's Sheepdog Poochmobile for Business ("Mutt Cutts")

• Lloyd was awe-struck and "in love at first sight" when picking up a passenger at her mansion for a chauffeured limo-trip to the airport - he met wealthy heiress Mary Swanson (Lauren Holly); she explained she was on a trip to Aspen, CO, but became more and more nervous by Lloyd's inane statements and his completely-distracted driving; as he narrowly avoided a crash at an intersection although the sounds of a fiery crash were heard behind them, he was mentioning: ("Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport, you know, like in a head-on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck...")
• after an awkwardly-cliched romantic goodbye scene enacted by Lloyd curbside that included a hug, Mary was followed by two thugs, Joe "Mental" Mentalino (Mike Starr) and J. P. Shay (Karen Duffy), who had been instructed to pick up her briefcase to be left at the escalator, but she happened to be distracted by Lloyd crashing his limo outside into the rear of another parked car, and she left her briefcase in the middle of the terminal floor
• Lloyd raced inside and retrieved it and made an ill-fated attempt to return it to her; he ran down TWA's jetway, but didn't know that the plane had already departed - he flipped onto the tarmac with the briefcase still in hand; he was unaware that the thugs were also interested in the briefcase and trailed him back to his run-down apartment complex
• roommates Lloyd and Harry were two dim-witted slackers who both found themselves unemployed; Lloyd described how he had left the scene of an accident at the airport, and Harry had also just lost his job; what disturbed him however, was that he had spent his life's savings converting his van into a dog, although Lloyd was impressed: "Hey, chicks love it. It's a shaggin' wagon"; Lloyd described how he had met "the most beautiful woman alive" who had left her locked briefcase ("a love memento") in the airport terminal on her way to Aspen
• when the two menacing thugs (Mentalino was armed) knocked on the door, the two feared that they were debt collectors; they bailed out the back window before the two barged in and Mentalino cruelly decapitated Harry's parakeet Petey to leave them a "message"
• meanwhile, Lloyd and Harry were at a loss for direction in their lives: (Harry: "I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothin', nada, zip!" Lloyd: "Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week"); later that night, Lloyd was robbed when he entrusted a senior citizen (Connie Sawyer) on a motorized cart to watch his purchases (mostly beer) for a few minutes, while he got change; when he returned home, Harry was upset that Petey's "head fell off" - and rationalized: "Yeah, he was pretty old"
• Lloyd was distraught: "I've had it with this dump! We got no food. We got no jobs. Our pets' heads are falling off!"; he and a very reluctant Harry agreed to set out to return the briefcase in Aspen, CO ("a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano"); unbeknownst to them, they were being pursued by the two thuggish hit-men
• on the road in Connecticut, Lloyd admitted how he had acquired $25 dollars by selling some things before they left, including the sale of Harry's dead headless bird to a blind boy neighbor named Billy (Brady Bluhm) [Note: The story about the duped blind boy was featured on a TV episode of A Current Affair watched by Mary, who exclaimed: "Who are these sick people?")]
• realizing that Lloyd and Harry had split town for Aspen, the two thugs discussed how their boss, mastermind criminal Nicholas Andre (Charles Rocket) in Aspen, CO would be upset if the briefcase wasn't retrieved; they also mistakenly believed that Harry and Lloyd were "pros" who had been 'hired' by Mary as either PIs or FBI agents to retrieve the briefcase
• at a Truk Stop's diner for lunch in Pennsylvania after mistreating their waitress named "Flo," Lloyd suggested that Harry toss salt over his right shoulder for good-luck, but Harry threw the entire salt shaker; an angry trucker named Sea Bass (Cam Neely) spit into Harry's hamburger to retaliate for almost being hit with a salt shaker; Lloyd apologized to Sea Bass and offered to buy a round of Boilermakers for his table, but then told the waitress to scam him: "Sea Bass and the fellas offered to pick up our check. They said just put it on their tab. They're very nice"
• afterwards as they made their rapid escape from the truck stop, Harry asked where Lloyd had learned the scam, and was told he had seen it in a movie: (Something Wild (1986) that starred Jeff Daniels!); Harry asked what happened next, and was told: "In the movie, they catch up to him a half-mile down the road and slit his throat. It was a good one!"; Harry refused to stop to allow Lloyd to pee by the side of the road and suggested that he pee in some empty beer bottles

Lloyd Peeing Into Beer Bottles

The Poochmobile Stopped by Motorcycle Cop For Speeding

Officer: "Pull over!" Harry: "No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'"

• a motorcycle radar cop (Harland Williams) drove up next to the Poochmobile van and ordered them to "pull over" for speeding; Harry responded good-naturedly: "No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'"; the officer became suspicious regarding evidence of open beer bottles: ("You fellas been doin' a bit of boozin', have ya? Suckin' back on grandpa's old cough medicine?...Come on, give me that booze, you little pumpkin pie, hair-cutted freak, come on!"); the officer insisted on testing for alcohol, not knowing that the bottles were filled with Lloyd's urine; after the officer took a swig and began to gag, Lloyd offered: "Tic Tac, sir?"
• meanwhile in Aspen, Mary was concerned that the abductors, in an elaborate kidnapping and extortion scheme, had not received the ransom money intentionally left for them in a briefcase as instructed at the airport, in exchange for the return of her kidnapped husband Bobby (Brad Lockerman); she conferred with her parents and with old family friend and confidant Nicholas Andre, unaware that he had masterminded the kidnapping
• while driving late at night as Harry slept, Lloyd (in a vignette of experiences) fantasized returning the briefcase to Mary and hugging her (and lifting up her skirt, revealing she was panty-less); in a group of people all wearing ugly Christmas sweaters including Mary, Lloyd also entertained with a stupid and juvenile joke in front of a fireplace, and then lit his farts on fire (for laughs); he also imagined taking Mary for a dream-date to a fancy restaurant where he beat up the maitre-d and other waiters, defending her honor; and then in his wild chopsocky fantasy, he plunged his fist into a kung-fu ninja chef's (Jesse Borja) chest and ripped out his still-beating heart; he put it into a literal Doggy Bag, and then handed it back to the man who fell backwards - dead to the floor; then Lloyd fantasized that he was about to kiss and then make love to Mary in a dimly lit room before a burning firelog with chilled champagne; after she removed the top to her dress, he looked down and stared - not her breasts but a pair of blinking "headlights" - before reawakening from his dream and avoiding crashing into an oncoming truck

Fantasy: Lloyd's Violent Chopsocky Daydream

• at the Second Honeymoon Motel with a heart-shaped headboard, XXX films and hot tubs, while taking a bath in a red heart-shaped bathtub, Lloyd listened in to the sounds of love-making through the next door wall, and exclaimed to Harry: "This is the life - cold beer, a hot tub and paper-thin walls. There's only one thing that could make this moment any better... If you had a nice set of knockers"; Harry reminisced about a breakup he had with Fraida Felcher who sent him a "John Deere" letter: "She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention"; it was implied that the guilty-looking Lloyd had stolen her away from Harry and never admitted it
• the next day while driving toward Iowa, the two mistakenly picked up hitchhiker Joe Mentalino who claimed his car had broken down; he was quickly driven crazy by the pair playing tag on either side of him - with inane antics: (Harry: "You're it....Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!...Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!...No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!"); then, they began an annoying duet of the Mockingbird song before picking up a Mexican family of hitchhikers
• during another meal stop at Dante's Inferno restaurant (just East of the Mississippi), Harry and Lloyd taste-tested atomic hot peppers on a dare: ("I'll do it if you will, Lloyd") - their argument was sing-songy: "You go first!" "No, you go first!" - their reactions included cooling their mouths with mustard and ketchup bottles; while Mentalino was phoning Andre, the two also pranked Mentalino's hamburger with chili peppers; the thug suffered an adverse reaction, grabbed for his stomach ulcer medication, but mistakenly was given rat poison pills he was planning to put into their drinks - and died
• during a fuel stop at a gas station, Harry spilled gasoline onto his leg while talking to another female customer coincidentally on her way to Aspen, CO, while Lloyd was confronted by an angry Sea Bass in the restroom; Harry set his leg on fire while lighting the female's cigarette and barged into the restroom (knocking out Sea Bass with the toilet stall door) to extinguish the flames
• Lloyd had mistakenly took a wrong turn and detoured through Nebraska - thereby avoiding police awaiting them on I-80 to Colorado; almost out of gas, Harry was exasperated with Lloyd's imbecility: ("You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!"), and he decided to desert him and walk home; Lloyd traded his van for a small mini-bike moped, caught up to Harry, and they decided to continue on to Aspen; Harry congratulated Lloyd for his wisdom: "You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this - and totally redeem yourself!"
• once in Aspen, the two had no idea how to locate Mary - without her name or phone number, although at first they thought her name was "Samsonite"; they were forced to spend the night in an outdoor park; they happened to accidentally break open the briefcase and discovered its contents - ransom cash for a kidnapped husband; they spent the money on extravagant luxuries, including a hotel, a $275,000 Lamborghini Diablo, a spa experience, and brightly colored, gaudy, candy-colored tuxedoes (sky and powder blue for Harry, and tangerine-orange for Lloyd) complete with matching top hats and canes
• the two attended a weekend Preservation Benefit (for Snow Owls) at Mary's home - Harry complimented Mary about her owls: "Nice set of hooters you got there!...The owls. They're beautiful!"; however, Lloyd then proceeded to accidentally kill one of the endangered Snow Owls with a popped cork
• Harry was able to acquire a ski-date with Mary for Lloyd, but then without telling Lloyd, went on the ski-date himself; in the film's most recognizable sequence, brain-dead Harry exclaimed: "Ooh, look, frost" to Mary as they rode on a ski-lift chair - and his tongue became fused to the frozen metal frame pole; it was hilarious to see him pried him free while his tongue stretched elastically

Harry's Diarrhea Toilet Sequence

• Lloyd retaliated against Harry for his betrayal with Mary by putting a large dose of laxative in his coffee; it was an excruciatingly-funny yet gross scene of Harry's extreme agony on the toilet at Mary's house while suffering an intense reaction, including Mary's disturbing comment to him: "I hope you're not using the toilet, it's broken...the toilet doesn't flush"; he responded: "I was just shaving" and later, "I'm just, I'm cleaning my teeth"; and when he was attempting to pour the entire contents of the heavy toilet bowl out the window, he lied again: "I'm gargling!"
• Lloyd arrived to tell dream-girl Mary that he had her briefcase; he took her to his luxury hotel to hand over the briefcase, and to confess his love to her: ("What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?"); she briefly answered: "Not good," and informed him that she was already married; with sentimental happiness, Lloyd responded to her claim that their chances were "one in a million" - "So you're tellin' me there's a chance?! YEAH!"
• after mastermind Nicholas Andre (a longtime friend of the Swansons) discovered that the ransom money had been spent on luxury goods (and replaced with IOUs), he took Lloyd, Harry, and Mary hostage; they were rescued during a shootout by a group of trailing FBI agents led by Beth Jordan (Victoria Rowell) who earlier had crossed paths with them during a stop at a gas station and bar (she falsely claimed she was moving to Aspen to get away from her boyfriend); as a result, Nicholas and Shay were arrested and Mary was reunited with her husband Bobby
• as the film concluded, the two broke and down-and out guys walked along a deserted Colorado road and wondered: "When are we ever gonna catch a break?" - unexpectedly, a bus group of bikinied females on tour representing Hawaiian Tropic pulled up next to them (with a few "Hallelujahs" from The Messiah), and three gorgeous females emerged, and greeted them (Swedish model (Anna Anka/Aberg) spoke in her native tongue: "Hej allihopa" (translated: Hi everyone))
• she presented an offer for them to be their oil boys: "Hi, guys. We're going on a national bikini tour, and we're looking for two oil boys who can grease us up before each competition"; Harry answered for the two of them and directed them to a nearby town: "You are in luck! There is a town about three miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there"; but then Lloyd realized that they had made a grievous mistake: ("Do you realize what you've done?") - they ran to catch up to the bus - and breathlessly, Lloyd told the driver that Harry had pointed in the wrong direction!: "You'll have to excuse my friend. He's a little slow. The town is back that way!"; as they waved goodbye to the bus, Lloyd imagined: "Wow, two lucky guys are gonna be driving around with those girls for the next couple months"